Q-109: Spread Your Wings and Fly...

You've never been a terribly outgoing person. In fact when it comes to social situations, you're really more of a turtle than a person. You spent years cultivating the ability to be invisible in a room full of people, ducking from the view of friends or family, finding a quiet corner to sit in with a book. It used to be that the very thought of going to a party made you panic.

You spent 2 years of your life playing hermit in the middle of nowhere in Oregon. And it's not that people don't like you. Truthfully, when you peek cautiously from your safe protective shell, you're funny, witty-- even charming. Until you get home and deal with the anxiety attack that was brewing throughout the event.

But for the last few years you've been working hard to fix yourself. You've been slowly but surely chipping away at your own insecurities, battling your demons, and building a nice comfy cocoon to emerge from.

And boy have you emerged. A look at your May calendar reveals a hectic weekend schedule. The mere fact that you had to USE the calendar and scheduler on your phone is a massive change. There was no way to keep the month in shape without it! Parties, Baby showers, trips to the flea market, the arboretum, celebrations, family time, even a birthday party for someone you don't really know. You peruse the marked days of your busy social calendar and wonder-- when did you become this person?

And it's not just May. In March and April too, you managed to stay busy-- not even realizing how much until it occurred to you that your laundry had only been done once overnight on a work night to replenish a vanishing supply of socks and undies. You review the past month, seeing photographic evidence of your sudden rebirth as a social butterfly.

In Mid March there was a party for a visiting friend, a late night and early morning as you trucked to and from Duncanville for celebrations and visitation.

The end of March of course was Wedding time. You learned a lot about your capabilities and limitations, discovered that you could go into a crowd and shoot even with many unfamiliar eyes watching you, evaluating you. You learned that you can work a 40 hour work week, and still do 40 hours of editing on top of it without collapsing. You learned that next time, you'll charge a lot more for your services!



In April, you spent much of your first two weeks editing Wedding photos and coordinating with the bride for handoff. Then a trip with the family to the skate park to watch your brother show off his boarding skills...





You realize it's a great place to people watch, and you grab random people and groups interacting, skating, watching...











Then a long-overdue trip to the hairdresser. No photos of that of course, since you're a typical photographer and refuse to have your own picture taken. And in the midst of all your running around, there were the typical unexpected animal resuce missions,

The bird your boss rescued from the street:


And the kitten that one of your dogs rescued from drowning during a vicious round of thunderstorms:

.

And then, the last weekend in April was the real test of your new social butterfly wings. A trip to Trader's Village in Grand Prairie. The grand-poobah of flea markets. Not only a massive place with tons of people, but you also took the trip there with some people you've never met before-- friends of friends.

You walked around for hours, bought a new ring, a cover for your cell phone. You people watched. You enjoyed the company of your old friends, and your new ones. You laughed, and ate, and took photos. And you were more than fine-- you were you at your best. And your work shows it. Spirited, fun, colorful. Granted you got distracted by everything there was to see, but the few shots you came home with were reflective of the spirit of the day.









You look back on the last couple of months, and forward to the next. You see a full schedule, parties, events, concerts. You see familiar faces and new ones, and you see yourself emerging further and further. A part of you looks at who you once wanted to be, at the quiet frightened places you used to retreat to, and you wonder why. Why it took you so long to break through.

Looking at it all though, you realize something far more important. It doesn't matter what took so long. It doesn't matter where you came from, or who you used to be. You're not that person anymore. All that's left for you now, is to spread your wings and fly...